2015 – or it’s been an uphill battle, but uphill nonetheless 🙌

What has been intended for evil, you turn it for our good, and for your glory. Thank you Jesus 🙌

You are perfect in Love, you have not forgotten us. Thank you Jesus 🙌

My dear friends, 

As the year is coming to a close, I retreat for a moment to take stock of all that happened throughout this year. 

Many hard, difficult and heart wrenching things happened – some I wrote about, some I didn’t. My circumstances are still extremely difficult. But some of the mountains have been removed from my life and some of the circumstances have been remedied during the course of this year. 

God has been by my side through all of it, and he is walking beside me through all that is still heart wrenching, difficult and hard.

I know, that he is perfect in love and that he is my sole provider. When he asked me to surrender my financial security into his hands, I never expected it to look like that. But I know, he will not fail nor abandon me. I am his princess and I will always be – no matter how my bank account in the here and now looks. I may not have much on my name these days, but in him I have everything. I am rich at heart, for he has increased my trust and my faith way above any measure of faith or trust I could fathom.

He is pulling me closer even now. 

His strength in mine, I can do all things, I can face all things. Consequences may look dire, but with him by my side, I can endure all things.

Without my precious Jesus, I cannot live anymore. He is my only source of strength, and with his feet in mine, I stand tall. Thank you Jesus. I love you. Always and forever.

My parents health and their overall attitude has still not budged much, but I see improvement and I believe for complete healing and redemption. I know, that God sees them in all their potential and not in their limited earthly ways. He has promised me healing, he has promised me renewing of their minds. In this promise I stand and I keep standing firm on it, until I see the fulfillment of this promise. Even if it’s only in Heaven.

Likewise for my heart’s desire to be reunited with the love of my life – even if it is only in heaven, that we are together again, while I am here on this earth, I will not loose hope. On Christmas Day, in church, I felt his presence very close…..I will walk in this hope until I draw my last breath.

My children’s uncle died at the beginning of this month. His funeral is today – a very sad time in our lives (even though I have not seen him in many years due to the separation from my ex husband). But again, my Jesus has promised, that we will meet him again in heaven. That he has healed him. Not here, as I hoped, prayed and believed, but eternally.

My friends, this year has been  full of challenges galore, but all of them have pulled me closer and deeper into the arms of my beloved. I know, that probably many of you think, that I have nothing to show, and that I am talking about the figment of my own imagination, for he exists ‘only’ in my mind. 

Yet the vastness of the experiences of his deep love for me is greater than any relationship in the here and now could ever provide – at least until now, or better: since I walked away from the one I loved and who I am connected with eternally. My twin heart. 

Praying that 2016 will provide peace and joy galore. – mind you though, even in the midst of all heartache and pain, the peace never left – the joy did for some time, but God never fails to restore Joy in my heart, even if only for a moment.

I still dream big – for my father is the creator of the universe and he will not give me a stone, if I ask him for bread. I expect big, because he owns the cattle on the 1000 hills. I walk with Jesus – that is my greatest treasure.

Wishing y’all a tremendously wonderful year ahead! May the Lord shine his face upon you and give you his grace and his peace forever.

Your friend forever, 


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